Alone

” I used to care for people, i used to care for things. But now im so cold, i can literally feel how cold my heart truly is. I feel nothing, no feelings, no emotions, no remorse nor regret, nothing; Im numb to the touch. But then again i do prefer to be like this, i feel like i was made to be like this”. I wrote this in my journal last month and its still very accurate to how i am. I do not feel the same anymore , i feel lost in this world , i feel trapped in my own personal hell. Why cant i just be off to college already? Why cant i just get away for a while? Why must i have to sit here trying to please everyone that walks my way? Im no longer in touch with the girl everyone knew me as , that is girl is gone , gone for good. Im sick of this world , im sick of this life , im sick of everything in general. For the past two months ive been writing in a journal 2 times a week starting with “Dear (my name)” so when i finish that journal i will pack it away and keep the cycle going until im in my sophomore year of college , i will then unpack all of the journals and read out loud what i had wrote to myself in the past and see how much things have changed or if anything changed at all. I truly feel as if im fighting for my own existence in this world , i want to grow up and leave my teenage years in the past , but i can not.

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